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Chandler:
"Can I borrow your phone?"
Monica: "Okay,
but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a
phone."
The One With The Ick Factor
Monica: "I
just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial."
Ethan big grin:
"I just had sex!"
Ethan: "You
didn't tell me your secret!"
Monica: "My
lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states!"
Monica to Ethan: "You shouldn't even be here, it's a school night."
The One With The Fake Monica
Dance Instructor:
"You can come up to the front and dance with me."
Monica: "Why
don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare?"
Monica: "It's not fair. She's got everything I want and she doesn't have my mother."
The One Where Rachel Finds Out
Joey: "You
know what I mean?"
Monica: "Joey,
we always know what you mean."
The One With Two Part (Part II)
Rachel pretending
to be Monica: "I use my breasts to get other people's attention!"
Monica pretending
to be Rachel: "We both do that!"
The One With The Prom Video
Monica: "I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob."
Monica: "Um, yeah, so uh, uh, listen.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, but umm...I, I'm no longer at
my job. I had to leave it."
Mrs. Geller: "Why?"
Monica: "Because they made me."
The One Where Ross And Rachel...You Know
Monica: "Really, Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing."
Monica: "Oh God, I'm dating a man whose pool I once peed in."
Rachel: "No, no, no. Wait. I wanna
see what happens."
Joey: "Uh, I get Leslie out of
the coma and then we make out."
Rachel: "Well, how can that be?
You were just kissing Sabrina!"
Monica: "Rachel, it's a world where
Joey is a neurosurgeon!"
The One With Russ
Joey: "Monica,
have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?"
Monica: "Well,
we just happen to go to a lot of places where you might drink! I mean how
do you go to a wine-tasting without having a drink? Or, or to a club? Or
to the... zoo..."
Phoebe: "What's
with all the bottles of liquor?"
Ross: "What's
going on? Is, uh... is Bobby drinking again?"
Monica: "Oh,
no, no. This isn't for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober,
but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing."
Joey: "It's not worth it. I quit."
Monica: "Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait one minute, wait a minute... I believe this will change your mind!
(reading) "In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani was able to achieve brilliant
new levels of..." continued on page 153... "sucking.""
The One With
Phoebe's Dad
Chandler: "Ho! Ho! Ho-ly crap, is
it hot in here?!"
Joey: "Really! Hey, you mind if
I turn the heat down?"
Monica: "Hey, we could've used
that kind of thinking earlier!"
The One Where Old Yeller Dies
Joey: "Oh, hey, Monica.
We've got a question."
Monica: "Alright.
For the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in the shower at the gym,
and no, I don't look."
The One With The Lesbian Wedding
Monica: "YES!"
Guys: "What?"
Monica: "Carol
and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend and she's
in a full body cast!"
Guys: "YES!"
Monica: "Alright,
tell me if this is too cute. Lesbian wedding... chicken breasts."
Rachel: "Oh,
god, I think I'm gonna be sick."
Monica: "What?
It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them!"
The One With Chandler In A Box
Ross: "Hey,
y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you
and Richard’s son,
you’d be able to tell your kids, that you